


Sometimes you just gotta take the grey oblong pill.

by zombie_bagel



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Chloe is misunderstanding, F/F, F/M, Kind of an AU where the story takes a different turn, M/M, Pre-Canon, Pre-squip rich, Rich is trying his best, Slow Build, There will be porn just give me a second, angst but not really, expensive headphones
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2018-12-10 16:12:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11695254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zombie_bagel/pseuds/zombie_bagel
Summary: Rich is a nerd. A geeky unlikeable nerd. With his greasy hair paired with his scrawny stature, he knows it'll be impossible for him to ever be cool.That is, without a bit of help.





	1. Chapter 1

Breathe. Just _Breathe_. Rich told himself, today was going to be his big high school debut. He knew sooner or later he would be the coolest guy in school. He could already imagine it, a ton of friends, girls throwing themselves at him, never have to worry about going home on bad nights. If he was one of the cool kids he could crash at anyone’s house. It was going to be perfect, it didn’t matter that he was already a week from the end of school year, and he had like zero friends. He was just fashionably late is all, all he had to do was make friends with the right people. How hard could that be?

                Rich looked himself over in the reflection of the bus window, one last time he could really use those contacts he’d been saving up for. His glasses were way too big for his face, but aside from that he would say he was a pretty attractive guy. You know, if you ignore the gaping gap between his teeth and the mottled freckles all over his face and you know...everything else about his face, body and skin.… Freckles are cute right??

                Gripping the straps of his backpack he made his way through the halls, occasionally he would see guys not unlike him getting pushed against lockers, and half of him felt grateful he was uninteresting enough to be ignored. He passed by one kid, Kevin or whatever, getting shoved out of the boys’ toilets and for a split-second shared a moment of sympathetic eye-contact with the poor kid. That is, before watching him get kicked senseless.

He didn’t know what made guys like Kevin so different from himself, but Rich knew that whatever it was it meant he was unremarkable enough to be able to make a big entrance any time. It was like the world had chosen him to be cool, to break the glass ceiling of short guys without girlfriends. Rich smiled to himself as he made his way towards first period.

 

 

Madame D’anee was a bitch. A French bitch, but a bitch all the same. She had a glass eye, which meant everyone tried to sit on one half of the room to avoid her attention. It didn’t work but people tried all the same. Somehow, just when you thought you were sitting in her blind spot she would call on you, or confiscate your phone, or sometimes just point at you until you left the room. People say that her glass eye switches sides according to the phases of the moon, but Rich had overheard Jenna Roland from his English class saying that actually both of her eyes were glass and she caught people using echo-location. Which is so not true.. (But also kinda cool tho).

Looking up at the clock, Rich was pretty early when he sat down, and started taking out his stuff. He decided he should at least try and talk to people and looked around for a potential conversation.

“Fuck.”

Guess who decided to sit two seats away from him. Jake Motherfucking Dillinger, that’s who. Now according to the Dillinger Law of Attraction, every female within a two metre radius to Jake’s desk was now suddenly unavailable. Rich surveyed the class and LO AND BEHOLD, save for a few guys at the back of the class, that weird theatre kid, and Rich himself, every single female had begun to orbit Jake like he was some sort of- of ORBITABLE OBJECT OR WHATEVER. How the hell was Rich supposed to get popular now?

Rich went over his options one last time, he zoned in on the weird theatre kid sitting at the back of the class. On a second look, she was kinda cute, in an excitable hamster sort of way. Rich walked over to her desk and with his best (practiced in the mirror) grin said hi.

“ _Iamthyfather'sspirit,Doomedforacertaintermtowalkthenight,Andforthedayconfinedtofastinfires, Tillthefoulcrimesdoneinmydaysofnatur-“_

The girl was hunched over her desk reciting what sounded to Rich like some sort of curse or something. Did he do something wrong? After an awkward pause he decided that breaking the ice was down to him.

“Uhhhhhh… You just got transferred to this class right??” Rich cringed at the way ‘class’ had come out as ‘clathh’ instead. He tends to forget about his lisp when he’s meeting new people. It ends up becoming ten times more embarrassing at times like these.

_“-List, list, O list!!!”_

Okay….Well that wasn’t weird at all. Rich was about to return to his seat when a set of sharp nails dug themselves into his shoulder.

_“OW!”_

“Sorry sweetie, didn’t mean to hurt you or anything.”

“Um..”

“Don’t mind Juliet over there, that’s just Christine. We have Drama next so she’s going over her lines.”

That didn’t really make Rich feel better but whatever, he was talking to a girl at last. She seemed a bit pushy, but a girl all the same. He looked up at the clock and realised that Madam D’Bitch was running late.

“Cool… do you th-”

“I’m Madeline. Just in case you wanted to know.”

“I actuall-“

“You _were_ gonna ask my name, right?” Madeline smiled. The grin seemed too wide for her face.

“Yeah, totally.” Rich laughed uncomfortable with how close she was.

Madeline and Rich kept talking throughout the class, out loud at the beginning and when the substitute showed up they switched to passing notes and the occasional shared look. Madeline was sat next to him and would sneak a glance at Jake every once in a while, but Rich was satisfied with that. Although Madeline told Rich she thought he was kinda annoying, she was mostly a nice person, albeit a bit harsh with her opinions. They exchanged numbers through notes and Rich started to think about offering to walk her home. After all if he ran he could walk her home and then make it home in time for his Dad not to notice or maybe eve-

CRASH!!! There was a sudden noise from the back of the class, followed by the loud clanging sounds of tables and chairs falling over. The whole class turned to see none other than-

…

“That chick is crazy, man.” Rich looked over to see Jake, much like the rest of the class, staring stunned at Christine, but with an amused smirk on his face.

_“ **O HAMLET** , WHAT A FALLING-OFF WAS THERE,_

_FROM ME, WHOSE LOVE WAS OF THAT DIGNITY,_

_THAT IT WENT HAND IN HAND EVEN WITH THE VOW_

_I MADE TO HER IN MARRIAGE, AND TO DECLINE_

_UPON A WRETCH WHOSE NATURAL GIFTS WERE POOR_

_TO THOSE OF MINE!”_

What. The. Fuck.

“Miss Canigula! Remove yourself from on top of your desk at _once_!!”

“Umm Sir, I don’t think that’s even her desk…”

“Yeah Sir, I’m pretty sure Christine flipped over her own desk in a dramatic display of-“

“Mell! Heere! So help me God I will _throttle_ the both of you, if do not _shut up_.”

“Yes Mr. Fitzroy.”

“Sorry Mr. Fitzroy”

“Miss Canigula! To the principal’s office NOW!!”

Crazy theatre chick (now known as Christine), cut her monologue short much to the disappointment of many students. After all, only three people had managed to get it on their phones (For now).As she left the class, Rich could’ve swore he saw her fist bump Jake.

 

By the time that whole spectacle had ended, class was over and Rich hadn’t got a chance to talk to Madeline. He didn’t have any other classes with her, so Rich thought it would be best to look for her after school. After all, that would give him more time to think of what to say.

 

Classes had ended and with the signal of the final bell, students began rushing out of classes, eager to leave the building. For once, Rich was excited to leave school. He began to look around for Madeline to no avail, he had checked by her lockers and had even waited in front of the girls’ bathrooms for twenty minutes before the looks had started to get to him. He was leaving through the front entrance when he spotted Madeline. Before considering otherwise he was already calling out to her, quickly stumbling towards the small group of kids by the edge of the stairs.

“Madeline! Hey.” Rich bit his lip as he heard his voice break halfway through the statement.

“Who’s that” One of the guys said. Rich could’ve sworn he saw that guy pushing some kid against a locker earlier today.

Madeline looked frantically at Rich and then towards the group of people. On a second look, Rich was pretty sure one of the girls was smoking.

“Like hell, I’m supposed to know. Probably one of my stalkers or whatever," she smiled smugly "I tend to have a lot of those.”

“Wait, What..?” Rich was confused, but he had a gut feeling that was telling him to go home and hide. He tried again “It’s me Rich, we talked during French, remember?”

“You sure you don’t know him, he seems pretty sure.”

“Yes! Now get away from him! It’s creeping me out.” Madeline dismissed the conversation with a flick of her hair.

One of the guys gave Rich a final once over before resigning with a “Come on guys, let’s go.”

Rich could feel the heat all the way up to his ears and made a beeline for the school building; there is no way he’d let himself be caught crying in public. That was totally uncool. Tears started to fog up his vision as he broke out into a run towards the bathroom. Hopefully there was no one in there. He could only imagine, what would happen if people heard, how many new names he’d be able to tag onto his high school reputation. Loser, Pussy, Creep, _Stalker_. That was the worst one, he though-

“Fuck!”

Rich slammed face first into a wall. Wait. That is not a wall. That is a person.

_Fuck._

“I’m really sorry I didn’t see you, I’m sorry I just wasn’t looking where I was going and I-“

“Whad’you say?” The human wall asked.

Rich finally looked up to see two of the guys he had seen outside with Madeline. He suddenly became hyper-aware that his face was probably red and puffy from crying.

“Did you just say ‘thorry’?”

Rich was already prepared for the onslaught at this point. In his mind he mentally counted how many ‘s’ sounds came out wrong.

“Dude you hear that? Hilarious!”

“C’mon man say it again, say it again for us!”

Rich was pretty sure he was red to his ears by now, and he could feel the tears begin to well up inside his chest.

Apparently silence wasn’t an acceptable answer and with the lack of any reply one of the guys shoved Rich up against the locker by his collar. The other seemed to be encouraged by this and as if on cue whipped out his phone.

“Say it, man”

“Come ON! We’re all friends here right? I’m sure everyone will find this hilarious.” The one with his phone coerced. It looked to Rich like they had already started filming, and if it were possible Rich would’ve gone even redder.

“You guys, don’t you think that’s a bit much?” Rich heard a voice.

The guy holding up Rich dropped him and turned to talk to the newcomer.

“Mikey! How've you been!” This sudden change in demeanour was off-putting and comforting to Rich in a way that felt strangely familiar.

“Hey Dustin.” The voice sounded bored, irritated even, “Don’t you think your being a bit hard on the little guy over there?”

Rich frowned at the word ‘little’. As grateful as he was to this random guy, he didn’t exactly appreciate being degraded in such a way. After all, he was 5ft 2 and according to the internet he still had a few years.

“Hey! Don’t go assuming you know what happened?”

“Yeah! This guy was asking for it”, Dustin countered. “He came out of nowhere trying to fight us and shit!!”

The guy made his way towards where Rich was slumped on the floor. He was saying something to Rich and motioning for him to get up. Rich stood up but Michael might have well been speaking gibberish. Just as Michael started to lead them away from the pair, Rich felt a sudden sharp pain at the back of his head.

“Ahh!!” Rich was being pulled to the ground, watching Michael getting pushed out of his line of sight. Instead Michael was replaced with the pleasant sight of the underneath of Dustin Croft’s sneakers.


	2. Drama

By the time Rich had come to, he could tell he’d been passed out for at least a few hours. His tongue felt stale, his limbs felt heavy, and the room was still spinning. Speaking of which, Rich could’ve sworn that he was in the hallway the last he remembered. But from looking around, it was obvious that this was no longer the case.

Somehow Rich had ended up in the Drama Room of all places, Waking up in a room of all black, freaked him the fuck out. For a second he thought he had died, or worse, joined the Drama club. It took Rich a while to properly come to his senses and when he did he was a hot mess of emotion. On one hand he was still hurt by what had happened with Madeline, and Rich couldn’t even imagine what it would be like when he got home. Although that train wreck with Dustin had led him to meet a pretty nice guy. Considering everything, with his memory still foggy Rich remembers that moment with the most clarity.

For that one moment in Rich’s life since his Mom left, Rich felt like someone cared about him, like he mattered somehow.

Dark hair with soft curls, a few locks in disarray to frame a concerned yet welcoming face. A stoic jaw, with lips slightly turned up on one side, to reveal a nervous half-smile. He remembered his eyes the best of all, a gentle brown with flecks of hazel. Rich could stare at those all day, in fact he probably did stare thinking back. (Ugh! So uncool!)

To Rich, everything about ‘Mystery guy’™ was so indulgent and relaxing to look at, an experience he felt he could keep privately to himself, to rely on and remind him that there are good people in the world. In comparison to himself, Rich felt like his appearance was a violent attack on the eyes, and his personality would fare much worse.

Rich tried to be a nice guy most of the time, but he was clumsy and awkward. Whenever he did build up the confidence to break out of him shell or try to do something worthwhile he fucked it up. Of course, Rich wasn’t _that_ stupid, he knew that he couldn’t possibly know the personality of Mystery guy. But at the same time he already knew that he would never be able to step in like he did. He’d be too much of a pussy.

Rich started to push himself up from the ground. He made it onto his two feet only to find himself collapsing face-first onto a very familiar patch of black carpet.

“Having trouble?” an ominously familiar voice asks.

Wait is that-

Rich scrambles to collect himself, desperately trying to go for the door. He falls three or four times before he even manages to walk properly. By that time it’s already too late, Dustin Croft is leaning against the door arms crossed. His face twisted into a shit-eating grin.

Rich begins to sweat, his brain in panic-mode as he begins to mentally scour the room for possible exits, and when his search comes up with nothing he begins to search for potential weapons.

“Relax short-stack, no need to freak out.”

Rich would have replied, but at that moment he was busy eyeing a _particularly_ sharp-looking styrofoam sword.

“Hey! Look at me when I’m talking to you, Goranski!”

Rich was jolted from his escape plan and slowly raised his eyes to look Dustin in the ey- (Jesus FUCK, how tall is this guy anyways???!!)

“So-Sorry…”

“Damn kid, you’re a mess.” Rich lowered his head as Dustin began to walk towards him, he looked him over again. It was similar to the way he had looked at him when they were outside, it almost looked like he was sizing him up.

In the back of Rich’s head, the possibility that Dustin could be figuring out exactly how to dispose of his body raised alarm bells.

Finally looking satisfied, Dustin raised an eyebrow at Rich.

“Hey Goranski, you ever wanted to be popular?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REALLY SRRY this chapter is kinda short, (tbh I did it for dramatic effect)  
> I'm gonna be updating this fic every 2-3 days but because this is a short chapter the nest one will probs be out by tomoz or maybe day after  
> (it's on the internet now so I GOTS DEADLINES NOW)
> 
> PLZ SCREAM AT ME ABOUT THIS FIC OR JUST ABOUT BE MORE CHILL OVERALl  
> TRUST ME I WILL SCREAM BACK
> 
> My tumblr is @zombie-bagel 
> 
> AAAAAHHH THANK YOU FOR READING PLZZZ COMMENT


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Rich walked home with the strange pill in his closed fist. He was already sweating at the implications of what Dustin offered. He replays the conversation in his mind…

 ********************************************

_“Take it with mountain dew” Dustin gesturing at the pill in Rich’s hand._

_“Why are you doing this?” Rich doubted the pill already, he stared at it, sitting in his palm. It was small, it was hard to believe that a whole computer could have fit in here._

_“I’m just trying to help you out.”_

_Rich was skeptic._

_“Do you have one these ‘squip’ thingies?” Rich asked._

_“Do I look like I need one? Listen man, all you need to do is pay me once that thing gets going.”_

_Ah. There it was._

_“I’m not buying drugs from you! I’m broke anyway. Sorry dude but this is too far. I can’t afford to owe you!”_

_Rich was adamant. With his parents refusing to help his brother with college at all, he knew he couldn't afford to waste money from his savings like this. His brother already had debts to deal with, and Rich already had a bad feeling about this whole situation. Dustin’s face hardened, his smile became forced and Rich began to regret rejecting him so aggressively._

_“How about this, you take this free and once you’ve taken it you decide whether or not you wanna pay me.”_

_“Uh.. Okay then.” Rich could sense something was off about this interaction._

_“Cool, see you on Monday kid.”_

_“Wait!” Rich had watched way too many sci-fi movies to not see the potential danger of ingesting high tech robots._

_Dustin was already half-way out the door at this point, and didn’t seem eager about furthering this conversation any longer than necessary._

_“How do I get rid of it? The computer thingy, I mean.”_

_“How the hell am I supposed to know?” Dustin looked irritated, “That’s your problem not mine dumbass.”_

_With that he left Rich alone in the dim light of the Drama room, with nothing more than a concussion, inviting promises, and a grey oblong pill._

 ************************************

Rich stopped at the walk leading up to his house and braced himself for the possible implications of getting home this late. He checked his phone, he had missed the bus so it had taken him more than an hour to walk home, and according to his phone it was almost ten at night. If his Dad was awake, it would mean bad things. But if he was lucky enough, his Dad would either be passed out, or just not home.

Rich briefly wondered if the squip could help with things like this, but dismissed the thought in favour of judging whether or not he could successfully make the climb up the house’s veranda. Usually he could make the climb easily, but with all he’s been through today he didn’t even think he was emotionally prepared for the climb, never mind the sorry condition of his body.

Preparing himself for the worst, Rich pushed open the front door and paused.

Silence.

He automatically switched to what he jokingly called his ‘stealth mode’, placing the squip in his back pocket and carefully removing his shoes.

He had learnt from experience it was always best to move around in socks, and that the floor boards were the quietest near the wall. So Rich did all his knowledge instructed him, and breathed through his mouth. His body pressed as flat as possible against the wall, while allowing for his feet to be set parallel to the wall. Rich had memorised every single creaky door and floorboard in the whole house. Even in the dark he was confident in his ability to navigate the terrain.

But yet, he could still feel his whole body trembling at the thought that maybe his confidence was ill-placed. Rich was almost at the stairs, and from there he would be home-free.

_Creak._

Rich froze.

He knew he hadn’t misstepped. He knew it. He looked down at his feet to make sure. His feet were in the right place, there’s no way he made the sound.

“Richard, it’s awfully late to be coming home.”

Rich could already feel tears welling up behind his eyes. He turned slowly to meet his father’s gaze.

“We have guests, come sit.” His tone was saccharine.

His father was wearing a suit, at realising this Rich was relieved, if only slightly. His father, as much of a dick he was, valued his image. Rich shadowed his father into the living room and reminded himself to smile. But not too much, he knew his father hated his gap.

*********************************

Dinner had been nice, apparently some of his Dad’s relatives had come to visit. It meant that at least for a few days, Rich could relax a little. Rich sat on his bed and brought out the squip, he had snagged some mountain dew from the fridge downstairs. Once again he stared at it, but he wasn’t really looking at it. Instead he was caught in thought. He thought about his Dad and Dustin how they treat him like shit, he thought about Madeline, and how she brushed him off and finally he thought about that stranger, and how he’d been willing to help Rich.

He lay down on his bed and found a text from Madeline. Half of him was still angry over the way she’d treated him, he was even hoping that the text was an apology of some sort. Apparently, he was wrong. Madeline was scolding him via text and Rich watched the texts pour in before he stopped reading them altogether. It was no secret that Madeline blamed Rich for what went down. She thought he should have known better to approach him when she was with her actual friends. Rich pretended he didn’t read the bit where Madeline went into detail about every single thing that made Madeline feel bad enough for him to talk to him. Halfway through these texts Rich realised that the number he was getting these texts from was completely different to what Madeline had given him.

She’d given him a fake number.

 Rich looked over to his phone on the bedside table, he could see the phone vibrating with each new assault. Rich had turned the phone over in an attempt to stop thinking about the texts. He could only imagine what else Madeline had to say.

It was clearer than anything now that Madeline had never seen him as a person, Rich considered if that mystery guy had felt the same way. If he had only felt bad for Rich, and even wondered if there was anyone he had ever met who hadn’t seen him as some sort of kicked puppy or charity case.

Rich sat cross-legged on his bed and once more stared at the squip in the palm of his hand. This little thing could help him couldn’t it? It could fix all of this, it could make everything okay. He wouldn’t have to be afraid of anything anymore, people would treat him with respect, people would like him.

In future years, Rich would remember that thought as the last free willed thought he would ever have.

He swallowed the pill whole, and chugged the mountain dew. He downed half the freaking bottle, and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

“…this whole fucking thing was a joke wasn’t it”

Almost as if to correct him for the first time, Rich felt searing pain pass through his whole body. Burning and agonising, blooming from the small of his back upwards and carving a path upwards until it made his way to his head. Rich’s breathing became laboured and quick as he collapsed onto the bed, pressing his forehead into the sheets. He was sweating, and it felt like his body was ripping itself apart. Still, he tried to muffle his screams, he had no intention of provoking his father.

For a moment it stopped. Rich had sworn he had heard a voice speaking to him, female and dripping with irritation. What was happening to him? Was he hearing voices no-

“AAAAGGHHHH!!!”

Rich doubled over nails scraping against his scalp, eyes wide as the sizzling sting settled in his brain. Over his screams Rich could hear an apathetic voice, so calm its tone was almost infuriating.

Rich was never too good with pain, so it was no surprise to him he passed out on his bed from the pain. That wasn’t before Rich caught a glimpse of bright red pumps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: '***' means change of scene, just to make it clear.
> 
> Finally got this chapter out!!! \\(0v0)/ YAAAYYYY  
> GUESS WHO RICH'S SQUIP'S GONNA BE???? HON HON HON, how interesting  
> sorry this is a bit late...  
> thank you SOOOO MUCHH for reading,  
> PLZ GIVE DEM KUDOS AND COMMENT  
> YAYYY  
> I'LL TRY AND GET THE NEXT CHAPTER OUT SOOOON!!!!  
> my tumblr is zombie_bagel
> 
> Also: do I use caps to much???? my friends say I do but shmeehhh


	4. The pinkest of berries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAA IM SO SORRY GUYS. My laptop actually died on me and I had to get a new one. I was hoping to finish it during summer but since I only got my new laptop like last month....
> 
>  
> 
> ANYWAY IM SO SORRY AS AN APOLOGY HAVE THIS CHAPTER!!!!

“Hey.”

No response.

**“With confidence.”**

“Hey!” Rich repeated.

Jake turned to greet him with a smile.

“Oh hey dude, what’s up?”

Rich knew this was a terrible idea. It had been just over a week since Rich had gotten his Squip, and summer vacation had already started. Yet here he was, acting like a complete idiot, trying to make friends with Jake Dillinger. Rich had skipped the whole last week of school according to his Squip’s instructions. Apparently, in the sorry state his social life was in he had to completely remake himself if he wanted even a chance with Michael.

Michael. He reminded himself. That’s who this was all for. He wondered why he was busy talking to Jake, when Michael was the one he was really after.

**“Because, you want to make the guy envy you, not pity you. Come on we’ve been through this. To get what you want, you need to get popular. The fastest way to do that is to get in to Jake’s good books. Now, stop looking like a scared little _bitch_ , and say what I tell you to say. Got it?”**

She narrowed her eyes at him.

“Got it.”

“What?” Jake was looking at Rich mildly confused.

Rich hadn’t even realised he’d spoken out loud. He began to consider running and giving up on this whole plan. Until his Squip started to whisper in his ear, and just like they had been practicing for the last week, he mimicked every word, tone, and cadence to her voice.

“Oh. I was just saying, God it’s really hot out here.” Rich offered.

“Yeah I guess.” Jake still looked wary to speak to him.

Tell him you like his shirt.

“I uh… like your shirt?” Rich was starting to sweat.

Jake lit up.

 “Really! You know ‘Shells and Sunflowers’, I’ve never met another fan before!”

In actuality Rich had not the slightest clue who “Shells and Sunflowers” were. In the back of his mind he could almost feel his Squip digging up information to assist him.

“Yeah totally. Have you heard their new album?” Rich replied.

The two went on like that for a while. Rich’s Squip occasionally spitting information at him enough to facilitate the illusion that Rich knew a fair bit about ‘Shells and Sunflowers’. Every once in a while though, she would intentionally give Rich wrong or vague information.

**“You don’t want to seem like this band or whatever takes up your whole life. Getting a few things wrong once in a while is good. You’ve already proven you have similar interests. You don’t want to end up as the ’guy to talk about music with’, let him correct you. Show him you have other interesting things in your life. Make him want to be your friend.”**

Just like that, the conversation shifted at towards whatever meaningless chatter his Squip thought would be the easiest to talk about. They spoke mostly about Jake’s hobbies and Rich found it easy to simply listen to him talk.

Rich looked up to find Jake staring at him intently

“Hey, I feel like I’ve seen you around before.” Jake suggested.

Throughout this whole encounter, Rich had never considered that Jake would have remembered him from school. He had never even really spoken to the guy! He couldn’t just admit who he was, what if Jake asked around and found out he was a complete loser?!

Without his permission, Rich’s mouth began to speak.

“Oh yeah. My family moved in near here, a few days ago.” Rich said?

It felt weird. He hadn’t tried to move his mouth but his Squip had done it for him. It was strange, he felt _manipulated,_ almost like a ventriloquist dummy _._ Rich shook the feeling off and his Squip beckoned for him to change the subject.

“I think it’s your turn dude.”

They were in the queue at Pinkberry™, and because of the summer heat there had been a massive wait when Rich had gotten there. Without even realising it the two were at the front of the queue.

Apparently Jake hadn’t realised it either, because following Rich’s prompt, Jake looked fairly surprised.

“Sorry about that.” Jake said as he stepped up to the cashier.

Rich couldn’t quite follow the conversation from where he was but as far as he could tell the cashier was seriously flirting with Jake. Like full blown, playing with hair, batting eyelashes, leaning into personal space flirting.

For some reason, that made Rich bitter. Here Rich was, having to have some sort of semi-legal brain implant to have a decent conversation. Yet someone like Jake has people throwing themselves at him, just to be somewhat involved in his life. Rich couldn’t see Jake’s reaction from where he was but he just knew Jake was reciprocating. Of course he was, he must love the attention.

“Hey are you okay?” Jake had stepped backward slightly, and Rich could hear his voice a lot clearer now.

“Huh?” the cashier looked seriously confused.

“Is there something in your eye or something, you’re blinking a whole lot.” Jake sounded genuinely concerned.

At hearing this unexpected reaction to their attempt at flirting the cashier, red-faced, quickly back-pedalled in an attempt to regain their dignity.

“Would you like to pay cash or card?”

“Oh um… cash, please.”

Jake paid and retreated from the cashier desk.

As Jake made to leave Pinkberry™, Rich couldn’t help but notice the obscene amount of frozen yoghurt he was carrying

“Woah, I know it’s hot out but really?” Rich flinched at the slight buzz that made it’s way up his spine. A punishment for speaking without permission.

He gestured towards the several portions of frozen yoghurt Jake was cradling in his arms.

“Haha. Oh no, these aren’t for me. I’m buying for four.” Jake explained before pushing the door to leave.

“Next please.” The cashier sounded impatient.

Rich approached the counter, only to get nothing but a bored onceover from the cashier.

“What do you want?” The cashier stated apathetically.

**“Medium, Pecan pie.”**

“Could I get a Medium Pecan pie?” Rich replied. Irritated at the cashier’s demeanour.

“That’ll be $5.95. Cash or card?”

Rich paid and grabbed the cup off the counter. Just as he was about to leave he heard the cashier talk.

“What. No tip?”

He decided he was going to ignore that one.

 

* * *

 

Rich considered wandering around for a bit longer before going home. In was only two in the afternoon, and frankly Rich had nothing better to do.

 **“Wipe that miserable expression of your face.** **”** his Squip ordered, punctuating the demand with a shock.

“Why does it matter, there’s nobody around anyway.” Rich countered

“Yo, dude!”

Rich whipped around to see Jake hanging out the window of a blue car.

 **“Don’t just stand there, say hi to him. Or don’t, there’s nobody around anyway”** The Squip smirked knowingly.

“Yo.” Rich honestly had no idea what to say. His Squip for some reason wasn’t doing anything. She was just standing there, watching as Jake got out of the car to approach Rich. Was his Squip broken or something? Why was she just standing there? What was he supposed to do??

“You need a ride?” Jake offered.

“No, I’m okay thanks.” Rich flinched. Disgusted both at the shock his Squip gave him, and the subtle way his lisp showed up at ‘thanks’.

 “Come on, I’m sure Chloe wouldn’t mind driving you.” Jake smiled.

“Right Chlo?”

As if on cue, the driver’s window rolled down to reveal none other than Chloe Valentine, glowering at him through a pair of designer sunglasses.

“Hmph.”

 “Awesome! I think she likes you.” Jake said, gesturing towards the open car door, “Come on, I’ll introduce you to the others.”

**“Rich, it is essential that you do not fuck this up. These people are the top of the top. Mess this up and your shot at being one of the popular kids? Gone.”**

Quietly, in his head, Rich affirmed.

**“Good. Now don’t say anything I don’t tell you to.”**

Jake escorted Rich into the back of the car, He was surprised to find Jenna Roland sitting in the seat nearest to the window. As the door closed Chloe began driving again. Rich reached for his seatbelt, but was curtly corrected.

**“No seatbelts, not unless anyone else is wearing one. You can’t seem too straight-laced.”**

“So” Chloe said, uninterested “Where to?”

**“Give them your street, but not your address. We can’t have any surprise house calls.”**

“Um…New Rayner Avenue, down by Boulevard”. Rich was pretty sure he was shaking. Jenna Roland had a look on her face similar to a kid picking wings off of moths.

“New Rayners, huh? Sounds like we’ve got ourselves a rich kid.” Jenna waggled her eyebrows.

“Jenna, please.” Brooke Lohst said from the front seat. “Sorry about her, she means well.”

Rich hadn’t even noticed Brooke until she spoke. From what Rich had heard, she was basically a saint. Sent from above, to stop Chloe from biting peoples' heads off. Chloe... was a different story. There wasn’t a guy who went to their school who didn’t fear the dreaded Valentine. With looks that could kill, and the intent to match, only an idiot would even _breathe_ near her the wrong way. Yet here Rich was in the back seat of a car she was driving, with no seatbelt, trying to become friends with these guys.

He was going to die here.

Hey, at least if he died, people would know about it. After all Jenna Roland’s here too. Rich could feel Jenna sizing him up, judging whether or not he’d be gossip worthy. If he messed up here, the whole school would know within an hour.

No pressure, I guess.

“Hey, I just realized I never introduced myself, I’m Jake.” Jake offered a grin, a quick attempt to stifle the growing awkwardness.

“This is Jenna.” On command Jenna waggled her eyebrows once more.

“The grumpy one is Chloe.”

“Jake, I will cut you.”

“Chlo!” Brooke scolded.

“And the sweetheart over there is Brooke.” Jake finished.

“It’s lovely to meet you.” Brooke greeted.

**“Introduce yourself. Speak slowly, first name only. ”**

“Rich.” He said.

“Geez, we know you live on New Rayners. No need to brag about it.” Jenna whinged.

From the front Rich could have sworn he heard Chloe stifle a laugh.

“What. No I- I mean my nam-“

Jenna burst out laughing.

“She’s kidding.” Jake said.

**“Change the subject. Brush it off.”**

Rich was blushing. He really hoped they would get there soon. He should just stop talking. They all probably think he’s so full of himself.

**“Rich, pay attention.”**

He’s so dumb.

**“Rich.”**

They probably all hate him.

**“Pay attention when I’m talking to you!”**

She materialized. Sitting on Jake’s lap, her ginger hair pressed to his chest, legs crossed underneath her tartan skirt. He had almost forgotten she wasn’t real, until Jake put his hand through her to reach out to him.

“Dude, chill. She’s kidding, promise.” Jake said reassuringly, placing his hand on Rich’s shoulder.

Around them, the three girls had begun talking animatedly. Even Chloe would smile every once in a while. The two boys easily slipped into the conversation, the atmosphere evolving to laughter at Jenna’s terrible puns.

By the time the car stopped, Rich realised he was nowhere near his house. The four hopped out of the car, chatting casually and began to make their way down the driveway of a fairly large, two-storey, suburban house.

Rich did not join them. He stayed on the sidewalk and for a moment looked _very_ confused. Brooke turned around to look at him before realising what had happened. She rushed towards him, her face apologetic.

“Chlo!” Brooke called “Weren’t you supposed to take him home?”

Chloe, already halfway into the house paused to look back. After a moment her eyes settled on Rich and became wide. In an instant, the look of realisation had dissipated, and instead was replaced with a look of calm composure.

“I just thought you’d rather hang out with us and stuff…” Chloe said coolly, walking towards the pair.

“You totally forgot didn’t you?!” Jenna answered from behind her.

“I did _not_ forget!” Chloe rounded on her.

.

.

Only to be greeted with a jet of water to the face.

Brooke began to giggle next to Rich, and Jenna was in hysterics, garden hose rolling out of her hand. In her laughter, she didn’t notice Chloe calmly removing her shoes and barrelling towards her. As Chloe chased Jenna through the house, Rich noticed Jake was gone.

Brooke began to tug on Rich’s hand, motioning him to follow her.

“Come on. I know where Jake keeps his water guns.” Brooke smirked evilly.

Rich was beginning to think that maybe Brooke was the scarier one.

**Author's Note:**

> Christine Gives zero shits..  
> BTW PLZ TELL ME IF I SHOULD CONTINUE THIS CUZ ITS MY FIRST FIC AND I'M NOT TOO SURE.  
> BLEEHHH  
> THANKS  
> PLZ LEAVE A COMMENT


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